Getting The Hang Of It

Well we're kind of getting into the swing at home. Amelia was awake until Midnight and then woke again at 3AM and 6AM for food. She's being a bit sicky too and she could recite the bible with one of her larger burps (too much info methinks- Ed). Looking forward to our first weekend as a home-based family unit as it were. Hope you all have a good one. Tune in next week and I'll see if I can get that second part of My Longest Day online at last.

New Routines

Well Amy's feeding every 3-4 hours now and we're getting into the habit of having her around. I can't put into words how wonderful it is to be able to just reach in and pick her up now.

Anna is pretty beat as you can imagine so she's under instructions to grab sleep when she can. Thankfully the elves have been at work and the house was cleaned from top to toe yesterday. They were from the same tribe that came to decorate the hall, stairs and landing actually. Thanks guys.

First Night & Day

Well we finally got Amelia down at around 2AM and thankfully she then slept until around 9AM Wednesday morning. I guess Tuesday was exhausting for her too. Anyway here's a couple of pics.

Is this basket big enough? Click to enlarge
First bath at home Click to enlarge

A smile not seen for a while Click to enlarge

Amy's room Click to enlarge

Taking it easy Click to enlarge

Kleenex At The Ready

Well here they are hot off the press so to speak. Amelia was discharged at around 1PM and after Polio innoculations, loading the car and tearful farewells we left the hospital at around 3:15. Here's the three of us just before we left the ward and the first picture of Amy where she belongs. More later but I must dash, I can hear a baby crying. It's like music.

Just prior to leaving hospital Click to enlarge

Amelia at homeClick to enlarge

D-Day!

Well at times I never thought I'd be able to say it but here goes...

Amelia's coming home today.

At the weigh-in she's gained 35g and is now 2255g (4lb 15oz) so as I speak they're drawing up the paperwork ready to discharge her. I have to admit to being somewhat emotional and I'm some way short of the mark in the tidying up stakes so for now I'll love you and leave you. I can think of what's happened since August 6th and think ahead to Amy's life to come but for now, today is going to be fun.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha

It's an eerie feeling

Many of you won't be reading this until Tuesday morning but as I sit here now, it's Monday night and I've just finished tidying the house as best I can. I feel a strange sensation because I know that this is probably the last time I'll be in this house without Amy living here too. At around 9:00 on Tuesday morning after 80 days in hospital Amelia will be weighed and if she's gained, she's coming home it's as simple as that.

Anna is at the hospital now and although I'm here decorating and tidying I'm also deliberately not rushing because if you'll excuse the yuk I feel quite emotional, not for the first time of late to be fair. It's not weepy emotion though, but a collection of many others. Amazement, disbelief, gratitude, excitement, fear, elation, throw them all in with a dozen more and you might get the idea. One stronger than many though is hope. It's true I've hoped for many things over the last 12 weeks but what I mean is a feeling of hope. I've always been amazed by nature, human and otherwise but since August 6th I've been truly amazed on a daily basis by the care and attention other people have shown towards Anna, Amelia and myself. True dedication like nothing I've seen before but to top it all, Amy's own determination to come back from a start in life no-one should have to endure, to where she'll hopefully be tomorrow night.

Anyway I could rant on for hours but the main point of this post was really to allow me to be generally thankful for what should be a very joyous occasion tomorrow. It may be Thursday if she hasn't gained any weight but my feelings will still be the same. So this is me signing off from what should hopefully be the last peaceful evening during our tenure here at Number 22. After Amy's weigh-in I'll be coming home for last-minute preps so I'll let you all know the score around lunchtime.

I'm Happy Really

Yes I was tired, yes I'd been decorating - and yes right now there's nowhere else I'd rather be and nothing else I'd rather be doing. I held Amy for nearly 3 hours last night and believe it or not this is me in a state of blissfull happiness.

Amy & Dad Click to enlarge

Uncle Tom & All

Tom gets to grips with little Amy yesterday.

Amy & Uncle Tom Click to enlarge

Counting Down

Sorry there were no posts over the weekend but as some of you will be aware we were rooming in with Amelia and this of course means 4-hour feeds through the night. Yes I am knackered but I don't care. Amy's off all monitors now and in her new wireless mode I can pick her up from her cot whenever I want and I can't even put into words how wonderful that is. I could look at her for hours (and have done).

Anyway the main news is that Amy gained weight (20g) at yesterday's weigh-in and is now back up to 2220 (2lb 14oz) which means if she gains again on Tuesday, we're coming home!

Boo!

You know in Peanuts when Lucy holds the ball for Charlie Brown and then pulls it away when he's about to kick it? It's one of those days. Amelia lost 10g at this morning's weigh-in so she's definitely not coming home on Sunday. However given her track record they gave Anna the choice to be able to room in anyway and she took it, wanting to get into the swing of doing all the feeds as soon as possible. What Amelia has to do now is to gain weight on Sunday and Tuesday's weigh-ins to come home.

So we have a new temporary address; centrally located with views over Hampshire, en-suite accomodation with excellent creche facilities. It's a mixed blessing actually because looking at the house this morning, the thought of bringing Amy home in two days was quite scary. I mean there's people ripping up floorboards and everything! How after 12 weeks of waiting can we not be ready? Hey-ho.

Holding Our Breath

Last night and this morning have been extremely strange. Based on our (perhaps misguided) assumption that Amelia would have gained weight at this morning's weigh-in and that we would therefore begin rooming in tonight, last night was our last as an 'independent' couple as the next time we'll sleep here, Amy will be with us.

This morning Anna had butterflies in her stomach and could hardly eat any breakfast she was so nervous. Amelia will be weighed between 9:00 and 10:00 this morning and if she's gained weight, we have a new home for a few days. I feel like I probably would if Anna's waters had just broken for a 'normal' birth. Excited and scared because we're leaving the house as a couple and will come back as parents.

There's a bag packed in the hall and I have to take the car seat with me. I have to confess to being quite emotional today so I'll apologise in advance if my posts over the next couple of days are a little 'Hollywood'. People at the hospital who are off next week are beginning to say goodbye. It's all very, very peculiar. I'll be able to get back online just before lunchtime if you want to know this morning's results.

Completing The Set

It's a little embarrassing but Kate, having been the first person 'on the scene' as it were back on August 6th, seems to have been almost the last person to hold Amelia. Sorry chuck, don't quite know how that happened but here's the evidence anyway.

Amy at the bar Click to enlarge

Kate & Amy

(Around 1.3Mb - around 45 seconds to download with a 500kb/sec Broadband link)

Gallery Re-Opens

Well after some extensive neglect Amy's Gallery has been updated and now includes August & September pics. I'll finish it off when I get a mo.

Pack your bags

Well yesterday Amelia completed day 2 of her consecutive breastfeeds which means she has to do the same today and have gained weight on Friday. It looks however as though I may have jumped the gun a bit talking about coming home on Sunday because part of the rooming in routine is that Amy is breast-fed for every feed. This of course takes up more of her energy which means she is likely to lose weight after the first two days. She must gain weight to be allowed home so it's more likely to be Tuesday/Wednesday. Having said that she could surprise us.

I got to the hospital yesterday evening and the Oxygen saturation monitor was off. The funny thing is the baby in the next cot kept setting her alarm off and even though we knew Amy wasn't attached to anything we still kept looking up every time it went off. I don't suppose that instinctive reaction will ever leave us now. It's odd to watch Amy being carried around the room attached to nothing, wireless as it were. In fact it's more than odd it's almost unbelievable to see. She looked completey different to me yesterday. She looked like a proper baby, which of course she is but you know what I mean. With every day that passes now we're looking at her more as our daughter and less as someone's patient.

Are Amy's Fan Club's Days Numbered?

Well great developments here this morning. Amelia will come off the Oxygen saturation monitor today and the Apnoea (breathing) monitor probably tomorrow. At today's weigh-in she has gained 55g and is now 2205 (4lb 13oz). This means that if she continues breastfeeding today and tomorrow and has gained weight on Friday, we'll be rooming in on Friday night.

Rooming in is a procedure where parents spend the night at the unit in special rooms with their baby to get used to the idea of looking after them through the night. This provides a kind of 'halfway house' from the relative safety of the unit to the 'perils' of being at home. Basically you do this for a couple of nights before taking your baby home which means, astonishingly that Amelia could come home this Sunday.

I obviously don't need to express what we're feeling about that possibility so let's everybody get our fingers crossed eh? The flipside of this is of course that Amy's Fan Club could be broadcasting it's last news bulletins very soon.

Breast & Thigh

Well yesterday Anna completed 3 consecutive breastfeeds so we're going for the same again today. Little Amelia also had her innoculation jabs yesterday, one in each thigh. Poor little mite.

Ticks In Boxes

Well this morning Amelia's haemoglobin count came back up on last week which means she should have no more problems with anaemia. Also her second brain scan has been completed and came back with no irregularities which basically means there are no signs of neurological problems at this stage - fantastic! This afternoon she gets her jabs (ouch!) but 48 hours after that she'll come off the Oxygen monitor! Students out there paying careful attention will therefore have already deduced that the only thing left for her to do after that is to get 3 breastfeeds a day down her for 3 consectutive days and it's 'hasta la vista baby!'

Anna and I had an appointment with the consultant this morning to debrief the events of August 6th and there'll be more on that soon. Anna for her part is pretty exhausted at the moment. The roles are a little reversed at the unit now with her doing most of Amy's cares and feeds and the team there playing more of a supporting role. This is difficult when you're not at home because you can't really 'mother' your child on your terms and in your own time.

When I got home from work last night Anna had been asleep for an hour and a half and having been to the toilet, went back to bed. I woke her at 11PM when she came down for a piece of toast and to express milk but then went back to bed and slept through until 7AM this morning. She's had enough of making the trip to the hospital each day now and just wants as I do to get on with being a normal parent. It's odd because 10 weeks ago after everything that happened I'd have perhaps literally given my right arm to be in the position we're in now but to be honest, the next few days until Amy comes home are really going to be hard ones, especially if Amy doesn't get her feeding sorted out.

Amy's Fan Club Grows by 45,000

Saturday was a marvellous day all round really. Amy came off her heart monitor and started breast-feeding and Dad & I went to Eastlands and watched City show those over-paid ponces from Laaarndon what football is all about, beating Chelsea 1-0. Glorious. The attending 45,000 were treated not only to a lesson in the noble art of association football but also to a notable entry in the match programme.

MCFC vs Chelsea Click to enlarge

Amelia Loses 10g - But That's Great!

Yes at this morning's weigh-in Amelia was 2150g which is a drop of 10g, but apparently this is an astonishingly low amount to lose having started breastfeeding. The extra effort involved usually results in a much bigger drop so yippee. Also blood tests today so we'll see what that haemoglobin is doing. Oooh also innoculations for the poor little mite - ouch!

Amy 17-10-04 Click to enlarge

Big Ifs

Well things moved right along this weekend - what a difference a day (or two) makes. On Saturday they took Amelia off her heart monitor which is a tremendous step forward. Also she seemed to have a really good breastfeed so it was decided not to top up her feed at all and see how long it took her to wake up asking for food. It was around 6 hours! So yesterday Anna tried 3 breastfeeds with no top-ups and Amy seemed to get everything she needed which is incredible. So...today is Day Two when Anna will try to do 3 consecutive breastfeeds again. IF she manages to to that for 3 consecutive days and IF Amy gains weight she'll have completed the second major criteria for being eligible to come home.

Amy at the bar Click to enlarge

What's That Smell?

It's a 10-week old baby that hasn't had a bath yet that's what it is. Yesterday it was my thrill to give Amelia her first taste (literally) of a nice warm bubbly bath. She wasn't too sure about it but I'm told she'll learn to love them. We took 5 x 15-second movies so if you're not busy, download them and have a giggle.

Bath 1
Bath 2
Bath 3
Bath 4
Bath 5

(All are around 1.3Mb - around 45 seconds to download with a 500kb/sec Broadband link)

Something for the weekend

A movie & a nice pic to finish off the week. Amy had 15ml less in her tube this morning after some breast-feeding and has been generally amenable all day. Have a good one!

Amy 12/10/04 Click to enlarge

Amy 13/10/04

Grandparent's Week

This week has been a busy one for visits and for Grandparents in particular. Grandad, Great Grandad and Great Grandma Hickman were in attendence yesterday and tuesday was Ffelsh & Grousie when I was on hand to take some pics. I think yesterday's were on a different camera for some reason. Anyway here's what I've got for now.

Amelia & Grousie 12/10/04 Click to enlarge
Amelia & Peemie 12/10/04 Click to enlarge

Weigh-In

This morning Amelia tipped the scales at 2160g (4lb 11.5oz)which is up 65g from Tuesday. This is especially good news as she has now started breast-feeding a little and this takes up a lot of energy. This morning she had top-up feed of 40ml after breast-feeding so she's getting almost a third of what she needs herself. Surprisingly also yesterday, there was talk of taking her off the heart monitor. Although nothing came of it it's great that they're even considering this development.

September Photo Of The Month

From the unofficial word-of-mouth vote it looks like this one was the clear winner but if you have another favourite, speak up. This was taken by Anna on the morning of September 28th and one of the first occasions when I made a real connection with Amelia after so many weeks of seeing her through thick plastic. It was a morning I won't forget as I began to feel like a father and not just a hospital visitor.

Amelia & Olly 28/9/04 Click to enlarge

Only The Breast Will Do

One of Amelia's next targets is to be breastfeeding consistently and all mothers out there will know that this is quite difficult for a full-sized healthy baby, let alone one as small as Amy. Yesterday Anna had Amy to breast twice and we think she got about 10ml of milk each time which isn't bad. Bear in mind though that she's now needing 65ml every 4 hours and you can see how far she has to go. Breastfeeding is extremely tiring for both parties and it's actually not unusual for preemies to lose weight when they start so we're bracing for that one too.

Housing Crisis

I have to extend most sincere thanks to Tom, Carrie & Matt for their tireless efforts in assisting us to transform the house into something beautiful for Amelia's arrival. We now have a new radiator in the nursery which is all but finished, skirting boards for the hall, stairs and landing and all the preparation paintwork done too. We've a lot of graft still to do but we'd be considerably worse off without the much-appreciated help. Pics tomorrow as Anna snagged the camera this morning.

Weight up, Haemoglobin down.

Well another 65g today takes Amelia to 2095g (4lb 9oz) which is great news. At rounds this morning though the doctor was saying Amy's haemoglobin is a little low, though nowhere near as low as last time. Normally of course all that she needs would be got from being inside mummy but as she's having to do it all herself it's not surprising really. Low haemoglobin is very common for preemies and several transfusions are often required although we're some way from that at the moment.

Family Resemblances

It's amazing to see the transformation in Amelia over the past couple of weeks. She's now looking less like a preemie and more like a baby. She's also starting to display some familiar family traits. Who can you see?

Amy 11/10/04 Click to enlarge
Amy 11/10/04 Click to enlarge

Aunt, we having fun!

Isn't punctuation marvellous? Well this weekend saw a flurry of visitations to the newer, podgier 2Kg Amelia W-B. Sunday saw a double-header of aunties Carrie & Lucy both getting to grips with the little lady at feeding times.

Carrie & Amy 11/10/04 Click to enlarge
Amy & Lucy 11/10/04 Click to enlarge

Amy & Lucy

Amy & Carrie

2Kg!

Actually 2030g or 4lbs 7oz to be precise. That was yesterday's weight and it's a milestone because it's one of the chief criteria for allowing preemies to go home. She also has to be off the monitors which measns no Apnoeas or Bradycardia and has to be breastfeeding consistently three times a day for three days. We've still got a way to go before we get to that stage but the weight gain is a big boost.

A Wait for the Weight

Amelia weighed 1970g today (4lb 5oz) which is an increase of 30g and leaves her just short of the magic 2Kg. Sunday maybe?

Starting Our Goodbyes?

It's incredible really but one of the nurses came to say goodbye to Anna yesterday. She's going on holiday for three weeks and fully expects us not to be there when she gets back. Nine weeks ago we were looking at more than three months of anxious waiting for Amelia to come home and it seems very strange that the end could now be in sight.

The days seem to go very quickly for me at the moment but perhaps that's because my daily routine hasn't actually changed. I find myself getting very excited periodically to think that quite soon I can start being a proper parent and not a hospital visitor. For Anna this is greatly accentuated because she's there all day every day instead of at home looking after her daughter.

Amy 07/10/04 Click to enlarge
Amy 07/10/04 Click to enlarge
Amy 07/10/04 Click to enlarge

'Alresford 1' Freed Following New Evidence

"Drama today when Amelia Wilson-Barnes, reincarcerated in an incubator yesterday was released back to an open cot following new stool findings. The 'bombshell' dropped late morning when the stool sample test came back showing no signs of the virus suspected yesterday."

Well, well. Two other babies in the unit had this gastric virus, Amelia was showing the same symptoms so it was reasonable to assume right? Nay, nay and thrice nay - shame on us for doubting our little tiger. She laughs in the face of viruses. It's just a case of the runs that's all. And let's face it, chronic diorrhoea and a Gavison dependency are a Wilson-Barnes trademark so who's surprised really?

Gavis-gone

Get it? I've missed my calling somewhere you know. Well Amelia is being weened off the Gaviscon today to see how she goes. She's been on it for a few weeks to keep the acid levels down after feeding and at that it's been very successful. Unfortunately few of us are able to continue taking Gaviscon indefinitely so she's going to have to learn to live without it.

Fingers crossed.

There's Good News & Not-so-good News

Ok don't panic but bad news first. Amelia has a slight gastric virus which is causing her some problems downstairs - diorrhoea to be precise. It's nothing serious and we just need to let it pass through her system but the real bad news is that she's had to go back into an incubator for the time being. This is basically so that she can't pass the virus on to other babies in the unit and should only be for a few days.

The good news is that it's obviously not affecting her nutritionally because at this morning's weigh-in Amelia has managed a record-breaking 90g increase since Monday. This puts her at 1930g (4lb 3.5oz) and only 70g away from the weight at which she can be considered for coming home.

Back of the net!

Time Out

Today we paid our last respects to Anna's Great Uncle, Peter Green who died last week aged 82. Although Anna has many fond memories of Peter I only met him a handful of times but this was enough for me to know that he was a special person. The last time we saw him was in August and we spoke about Amelia and her unexpected arrival. He commented that becoming parents was probably the most important thing we'd ever do. Amen to that Peter. I'm proud to have known him and privileged to be able to share the celebration of his life today. He will be sorely missed.

We also took time to lay flowers at the gravesides of Anna's grandparents 'Jack' and Mary Jordan. Amelia has a picture of 'big grandma' in her cot and has had since her first week of life. Anna said she was one of Amy's 'guardian angels' so we stopped by to thank her for helping out.

We got in to see Amelia at around 4PM and I did her cares while Anna expressed some milk. We then attached Amelia to the 4-star pump and let feedage commence. Once all the milk, vitamins, iron & Gaviscon had disappeared I took myself off to the coffee room for 40 winks. Here's how she's looking at the moment.

Amy 04/10/04 Click to enlarge
Amy 04/10/04 Click to enlarge
Amy 04/10/04 Click to enlarge

4 Pounds & 1 Ounce!

1840g for those of the metric persuasion. Either way our little treasure has hit another small milestone this morning.

Anna Lie-In Shock!

Yes it's true. As I set off for work this morning my dear wife remained in a state of slumber - having expressed 160ml of milk at 7:00AM. She was somewhat shattered yesterday and decided to stay put this morning and catch up on some shut-eye.

Yesterday we were in for a good part of the day and Amelia was giving us no end of panic with her new trick of 'de-satting' after feeds. Desaturation is when the Oxygen level in her blood drops below the required 85% and can be caused by a variety of things but manifests itself by Amy not breathing. Quite scary. She's been fine up until this weekend but has suddenly started doing it again causing us to flap considerably. Apparently she'll grow out of it - not before we've shed some sweat I'm sure!

Heavenly Afternoon

I've just had the pleasure of my daughter's company for the entire afternoon which was truly marvellous. I watched City throw away a perfectly good chance to utterly thrash Southampton at lunchtime and then I proceeded to change Amelia's nappy, give a good scrub up, feed her and settle down to an hour or so of staring at her aimlessly.

She's too beautiful for words. Another 60g at today's weigh-in which means she's 1780g and edging ever closer to the magic 2Kg - the weight they come home! She'll need to be breast-feeding properly of course and off the monitors but she's getting there.

8 Weeks Down

Yes folks it's 8 weeks today, not that we're counting of course. The house is a hive of activity with finishing touches going on the nursery and odd-jobs being tackled with great gusto. There's draught excluders, doormats, new radiators, carpet and feather dusters flying as we begin counting down to 'd-day' November 6th.

Yes we know it's a way off, yes we know that Amelia still has a lot of growing to do and yes we know she's a long way from being out of the woods but it's very difficult not to left our minds drift to the fact that in just over a month we could be bringing our daughter home.

I was in again this morning when I have to say that if Amelia had tried to cram any more into her nappy there'd have been serious spillage. Even Anna was wincing! Special cred goes to Great Grandma Hickman & Auntie Lu-Lu for some heroic knitting. Featured here is an awesome boucle hat with essential bobble. Very Sex & The City we think.

Amy 01/10/04 Click to enlarge
Amy 01/10/04 Click to enlarge