Going Potty

Sorry the posts have been a little sparse this month but it's been all hands to the pump. Weekends are awash with the doing of odd-jobs with the decking and general upkeep taking a fair chunk of time, plus of course the normal garden chores associated with autumn. Additionally last week we decided that we were sick of heating the pigeons due to the poor state of the poly-carb roof in the dining room so installed a false ceiling with insulation above. Now of course we have to redecorate the whole she-bang so we've veered off on a bit of a tangent there!

Amelia is the best fun she's ever been at the moment. She repeats everything you say and the next day she's using it in a sentance and was highlighted quite spectacularly as I described someone as 'dizzy as arseholes' the other night. Well now we know don't we? As you can see in the picture she's learning the fun that can be had with mobile phones (it's a fake) and pretending to call people and have conversations. Bless. We're also trying to steer her towards the potty as she's now giving us advance warnings of number 1's and 2's. Finally she's got the idea that some fat bloke in a suit is coming down the chimney to give her presents. The problem is she has no concept of time so the other night after I'd explained it to her, she insisted she wanted to go to bed (at 6PM), presumably because she thought Santa was coming immediately. Unfortunately '4 weeks away' has no meaning for a 2 year old.

The Search Goes On

Today's Jeremy Vine show on Radio 2 involved a feature about premature babies. This is due to the recent survey issuing guidelines as to whether or not babies should be resuscitated following premature birth. It's a debate that will rightly run and run but to be honest, not the one we're most concerned about. Looking ahead since we got Amelia home our issue has always been not what happens after premature birth but what causes it. With no explanation as to why Amelia arrived so soon, we have no way of knowing whether we'd face the same challenges next time with possibly a worse outcome.

With no-one to date able to give us more than a shoulder shrug as an answer, I thought I'd try national radio.

Click here for Olly on the Radio 2 Jeremy Vine Show

The above file is about 1MB and will take around 30 seconds to download using broadband. Your screen will probably be blank in the meantime.

Bonfire Night Bonanza

Well Saturday saw what is always a monumental fixture in the Alresford calendar go off with an enormous bang. The Rotary Club's torchlight street parade followed by the bonfire and fireworks display is simply the best 4 quid you can spend in November. We of course have our own family traditions too now so having wrapped up warm we set off for the chip shop, as does everyone else, stocking up with chocolate from the Co-op en route. It is then mandatory to consume a large tray of sausage & chips sitting on the bench outside the post office. I let mine cool down for 2 minutes while dashing off to the Swan for a purely medicinal large Paddy whiskey.

After that it was time to light our torch and join the chanting locals as they followed the fire engine (for heaven's sake) down West Street and up The Avenue to Arlebury Park rec. Then it's the big countdown as the huge bonfire is lit and we all stand back in awe. I can't really explain why the monk look-alike in the picture is giving a Nazi salute but this is Alresford and we try to be as cosmopolitan as we can you know. Apologies if it causes offence. Anyhoo I'm sure he was just excited because what followed was a truly fabulous firework display fit for any rural community desperate for a bit of excitement. Ooo's and aaa's filled the air, probably because the underdone sausages from the chip shop were reacting with Mars bars and repeating on everyone but that's the price you pay for fun.

Can you live with yourself for not being there? I thought not. Well never mind, next week there'll be a thrilling update on my wonderful decking project. How do you cope with the excitement I wonder?

Bulletproof Bairns

You may have already seen this elsewhere but it's worth repeating anyway. Tough start or not, we'll be shaping Amelia in this mould.

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 60's, 70's and early 80's probably shouldn't have survived because our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets and it was fine to play with pans. When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip-flops and fluorescent 'spokey dokey's' on our wheels.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or airbags and riding in the passenger seat was a treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle and it tasted the same. We ate chips, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy juice with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing. We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no-one actually died from this.

We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went top speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We would leave home in the morning and could play all day, as long as we were back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us and no one minded.

We did not have Play stations or X-Boxes, no video games at all. No 99 channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no DVDs, no Internet chatrooms. We had friends - we went outside and found them. We played elastics and rounders, and sometimes that ball really hurt! We fell out of trees, got cut, and broke bones but there were no law suits.

We played knock-the-door-run-away and were actually afraid of the owners catching us. We walked to friends' homes. We also, believe it or not, WALKED to school; we didn't rely on mummy or daddy to drive us to school, which was just round the corner. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls. We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of...they actually Sided with the law.

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

Have a good weekend.

A Smashing Little Pumpkin

Apologies to the old folks, that's a Nu-Metal music reference you won't get but what the heck. Well many of you won't know but I go a huge bundle on Hallowe'en. It all started way back when I happened across a low-budget slasher pic by the same name on BBC2 one dark October 31st when I was about 12 or 13. Well the worm certainly turned for me and since then I've been been a respectable appreciator of spine-tinglers of the silver screen and a big fan of Hallowe'en in general. Of course if I like it everyone has to so last night we had the standard hollowed out pumpkin for starters but with a string of pumpkin lights across the window, small night-light pumpkins in the window, inflatable ghouls, glow-in-the-dark ghosts and party balloons too. Our star attraction of course was our own gorgeous gourd Amelia.

I think we fed most of Alresford's under 12s and a few over 16s too with sweets, in exchange for their rather fabulous costumes & disguises. We in turn feasted on my traditional fried chicken & chips, marshmallows and sponge pudding. Oh baby! Anyhow Saturday is Alresford's world famous fireworks extravaganza which follows the torchlit parade through the main street. Biggest problem this year is with a tray of chips in one hand and a torch in the other, what do I do with Amelia? I'm sure we'll figure it out.